Tempo Run & Positive body talk with kids

I feel amazing after my tempo run today! As I have mentioned before, I make my own modified/abbreviated version of tempo runs that are in line with the low weekly mileage I log. The last time I did a tempo run, I did a nice warm up and ran 1.25 miles at tempo pace (7.1 mph). Today, I decided to go for a full 2 miles at tempo pace to see how it felt and it was awesome. I dialed the speed back a little bit since I was going for 2 miles. Here is how I broke down the run:

tempo 3-22-18

I’m pretty sure I could have completed 2 miles at 7.1 mph, but I didn’t want to push it. I increased my speed for the last 1/2 mile of tempo pace because I felt so good. Sometimes I don’t push myself hard enough. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I am still getting used to the fact that I am faster now than ever before. I need to adjust my thinking and know I am capable of running faster and longer. Running in my 30’s has been good to me!

I mentioned the other day that I needed a little help in the skin care department. I think the universe is trying to agree with me:

IMG_2324.JPG

I got a free sample in one of my magazines! Actually Super D was reading my magazine and showed me the sample. Which is what brings me to my talk of positive body image with kids. There is a lot of emphasis on teaching kids at an early age how to eat a balanced diet, how to be active, try new sports or activities and the same really has to go for positive body image in boys and girls. 

When I told Super D I was excited about my face cream sample, I didn’t tell her because I think my face is aging or I want to fix my wrinkles. I told her I was excited because it was FREE! Truth is truth. Free and that I want to try a new face cream. End of story – no complaining about wrinkles or wanting to be prettier, just that I want to take care of my skin.

So let’s back this train up a little bit and I will share with you how I got to point of being really focused on positive body image and positive body talk with both of my kids. I grew up with so much negative body talk. I know this is the case for a lot of people. My mother is beautiful and petite and never struggled with her weight. As for me? I was overweight for most of my life. She made so many comments:

You need to lose weight. You should wear more make-up. You look pretty – did you lose weight? Stand up straighter so your stomach looks smaller. I wish you took after me with your weight.

I’m not sharing this information to paint my mother as an awful person because it wasn’t just her, I got a lot of comments from kids in school. Negative body talk comes from everywhere. Comments from kids in school: 

Why is your face so flat? Why is your nose so flat? Why are your eyes so small – can you see? Hey Sumo!

Yes, I was called Sumo in middle school. They also used to tell me that Chinese people are named by throwing pots and pans down the stairs and then they would make all sort of noises as if they were speaking Chinese. Um…. I’m Korean and um…. my name is Elizabeth. We all have our stories about being teased and a lot of mine stemmed from my weight and appearance. It was rough, but I still look back and think I actually handled it all really well. Why? How?  I had other things in my life that I was really good at that made me feel confident and I had some good friends. I was great at sports, I loved to act in theatre, I rode horses. Without having an outlet, I’m not sure if I would have handled the negative talk the way that I did. I have my Dad to thank for doing everything he could to give me the opportunity to explore my interests. While I lacked confidence in my appearance, I was always very confident with my abilities, intelligence, and sense of humor. Life went on, I grew up and now I am pretty confident with my appearance. But what about other kids that didn’t have an outlet or confidence in other areas in their life? 

This is why Dan and I talk to the kids in a very positive way when it comes to appearance AND we don’t talk about appearance all of the time. We praise them a lot for being so smart, funny, talented and not just cute or pretty. Si-Guy is not lacking in the self-confidence area because he is always telling me that he is the cutest kid ever! I love it. How do I bottle up this huge amount of confidence in a 6 year old and make sure it can get him through his teen years and beyond?

Super D is very tall for her age and people always make a comment about it. No one is saying it to be rude. It’s just a comment, but over time, does that create an idea in her head that she is too tall? I always follow it up with, “tall like her mommy” or “she is just the right height”. It’s nothing we dwell on, but I have to hope hearing positive comments is helpful. Up until the past year, everyone commented when they met Si-Guy that he is “so shy.” If people tell you over and over that you’re shy, you are a lot less likely to speak up and interact. As a side note: his “shyness” was because of his articulation delay. He was so frustrated all of the time because people could not understand him. Speech therapy has been awesome for him and his confidence. So, whether it is physical traits or personality traits – we really try to give our kids positive feedback. We emphasize speaking kindly to one another (even when they fight like cats and dogs) because I hope that speaking kindly to one another spills over and they speak kindly to all kids.

When it comes to food, we try to find balance and desserts and sweets aren’t used as a reward or punishment. We never tell them, “no dessert because you didn’t eat all of your dinner”. In fact, a lot of times we tell them they did a great job on dinner, but no dessert because we had dessert two nights in a row so we are taking a break. They totally get it and that dessert is occasional and not given every time they eat what we want them to eat.

Super D understands the word “diet” as the variety of food we consume, not something mommy does to fit into her “skinny jeans”. Diet is a noun, not a verb.

As a parent, I want to do my best and I know that providing a balanced diet and positive body talk are things I am doing right. As for the other things….. you will have to ask me another day because my kiddos were not happy with me last night. 🙂

 

Best advice for positive body image? For kids or adults?

Worst thing a kid called you when you were younger? It feels good to get it off your chest!

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2 thoughts on “Tempo Run & Positive body talk with kids”

  1. I love this post. One thing I have always tried to do with my little 9 year old sister (because I don’t have kids yet) is to be very aware of how I compliment her. I find everyone is always saying “your so beautiful Emily” or family and friends will casually say ” I love you Emily, such a pretty little girl”
    Not that the mean anything by it, it’s just natural to say. But I make sure to try and instead say, “Emily you are so SMART” instead of emphasizing how she looks.

    Liked by 1 person

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